Lazin' In The Shade...

  First of all, happy 56th birthday to Cheryl Jacobson, my loving mother. Love ya, mom!

  Well, it's been a long time coming. After years of promises and guesswork, Adelphia has finally gotten off it's ass and now provides broadband access to Houtzdale. Rock on!

  By this time Monday, I'll be constantly online at a good speed, able to send large files quickly and easily. I'll be able to test broadband content for my websites as well, which will be nice.

  I can't wait...

Posted by Eric @ 7:47pm, 01-31-04

Dream The Impossible Dream

  For those who are clueless, I'm a regular reader of [fark], an off-beat news website. They recieve thousands of links per day, and whittle those down to about 50 or so that they post on the main page. It's very difficult to get your submission on the main page, since there are litterally thousands of just-as-funny-if-not-more-so articles sent in at any given moment.

  Well, after several tries since I signed up at [fark] last year, I finally got a story accepted! Yes! Here's the [comments thread], and here's the [original story] I submitted.

  For those of you wondering how it happened, here's the scoop. I was watching [fox news] when the guy hosting Studio B (it wasn't Shepard Smith at the time) said that they had breaking news about James Brown getting arrested on Domestic Violence charges. Noticing that it hadn't made it to [fark] yet, I hit [google news] and found a story. Five minutes later, I saw my headline, albeit a little edited (it originally said "Hit Me! James Brown arrested on domestic violence charges. Guess it really isn't a man's world, is it...") on the main Fark page. Score one for the regular guy on [fark]!

  If you're a complete off-beat news nut, I suggest signing up for [totalfark], where you get to see all the links submitted through the course of each day.

Posted by Eric @ 3:21pm, 01-28-04

Take Me To Your Leader

  You know? This whole Presidential Election nonsense has me wanting to run to the bathroom and offer up the contents of my stomach to the porceline goddess. On one hand, we have President George W. Bush, who needs to be assasinated to relieve the world of his utter stupidity. Then there are these freaks running for the Democratic nomination.

  John Kerry. Howard Dean. John Edwards. Joe Leiberman. All morons, all BS artists, none of them a good choice for President. So what are we left with? Not much, I'm sorry to say.

  And you know what? The American people are too stupid to even think of casting a vote that's neither Democrat nor Republican. We're so drawn into party lines that it's damn near impossible to inject any new way of thinking into political society.

  Then there's the question of how the election will actually go. Last time, we ended up with the Supreme Court overruling the American People, who gave the majority vote to one Albert Gore (himself a moron like the rest of the lot), yet they decided to hand the highest office in our nation to a Texas Turd. WTF?!? What will happen this time? Will people be too Oooooed and Ahhhhhed by the capture of Saddam Hussein to notice that we haven't found any "weapons of mass destruction" which were the reason we went to war in the first place?

  Shoot Bush Now. And while you're at it, reload and take out all these Democrat Dildoheads, too. Somebody get me a third party before I renounce my American citizenship and move to a place with more sensibility, like Antarctica...

  Now, let's see how long it takes the FBI to beat down my door for advocating the assasination of someone who obviously deserves it for dragging my beloved homeland into poverty, unnecessary war, and even into Hell itself...

Posted by Eric @ 1:15pm, 01-28-04

Why Yes... Yes, It Does...

  Work most certainly kicks ass. And I can't wait to go back Thursday. Greatest. Job. EVER!

Posted by Eric @ 12:51am, 01-27-04

Work Kicks Ass

  Oh yes, yes it does, it kicks so much ass. Last night, I got the surprise of my life, and holy hell was it pleasant. I can't say much about it yet, but I can say that tonight promises to be rather... Interesting...

Posted by Eric @ 12:05pm, 01-26-04

Identity Overkill

  For many years on Yahoo, I've been cat_boy_e_rock, a fun Anime themed profile. Well, my attitude has changed. As of late, I don't seem to be the happy boy I have been over the course of 2003. Why, I won't say. But you can probably infer my meaning if you read on. But anyway, here's the incredible thought process that goes into choosing a meaningful Yahoo handle (which in itself, ironically, is meaningless)

  A quick story before I go on. Even at a young age, dramatic irony always made me laugh. Here's one from the Elementary years: My buddies Nathan, John and I all sat together in our 3rd grade class. One day we were all talking, when the lights flickered, went out for a few seconds, and then came back on. It interrupted our conversation for a brief moment when we all got quiet, and when the lights came back on, Nathan turned back to John and said "So, anyway..." as if he hadn't missed a beat. I had no choice, seeing how chiche the whole thing was, to bust out laughing. How does this fit into this entry? Well, when I was reminded of that, I was about to type....

  So, anyway, with me working at the theater and seeing so much of Lord of the Rings: Return of the king, I decided to give myself a Tolkien-esque persona. When picking a character, I wanted to make sure it wasn't anything obvious. Names like Aragorn, Samwise, Frodo, Legolas, etc. would have been too much like something a person who hasn't read the books (but has seen the films) would choose. They are all major characters, part of the Company of the Ring, and would therefore be wildly popular.

  Me? I've read the books, plus most of the other Middle-earth centric works of Tolkien. I'm familiar with so many characters in such depth that a secondary character would have just as much meaning as one of the Nine Walkers. Characters like Eomer & Gamling of Rohan, Grima Wormtounge, and Faramir, to me, would be just as important, since I'm familiar with much more than what the movie gives us of them.

  Which did I choose? I picked Faramir, son of Steward Denethor II, and brother to Boromir of The Fellowship. What they don't tell you in the movie: After the death of his father, Stewardship of Gondor passed immediately to him, since his older brother is dead. Therefore, he takes rule of Gondor for the short time leading up to the coronation of Aragorn Elessar. After that event, he keeps his position as Steward, though that rank becomes more of a "Captain of the Guard" type position.

  In a brief moment at the end, they show Faramir and Eowyn together at the coronation. Truth be told, Faramir and Eowyn marry. And honestly, who WOULDN'T want to get busy with Miranda Otto? She's HOT! But I digress...

  He is also granted the Princedom of the lands of Ithilien by Aragorn. Ithilien is seen in the last two films, and mentioned briefly by (dramatic pause) Faramir himself. Ithilien is the eastern lands of Gondor that border Mordor. Along with that comes the title Lord of Emyn Arnen, a range of hills in Ithilien where Faramir and Eowyn made their residence after the War of the Ring.

  In the end, I decided not to go with Faramir's name outright, but rather one that would refer to one of his titles. Something that true Tolkien fans would look at and say "I know who that is," but would make the casual Peter Jackson Trilogy fan have to think about. Was the Last Steward Denethor, or his son? I don't know why I like that, but hopefully it'll make at least one person curious enough to actually pick up a book and find out just who it was for sure.

  So there you have it. A lengthy entry about how I went about picking my new Yahoo ID. Pointless, but maybe a bit educational in a literary sense. If you want to learn more about the world of Middle-earth but don't want to pick up a book (shame on you), check out [the encyclopedia of arda], a great online Tolkien information site.

  Oh yeah. You can find my new Yahoo ID on my [contact] page.

Posted by Eric @ 4:40om, 01-24-04

Oh Captain, My Captain...

  [fark] brings the Ranch [sad news] today. Bob Keeshan, known to millions as Captain Kangaroo, has passed away. He was 76 years old.

  You younger folk wouldn't remember the Captain Kangaroo show, or his other notable TV roles on shows such as Howdy Doody. He brought us such loveable characters as Mr. Greenjeans, Mr. Moose, and many many more. The Ranch stands in mourning for this Children's Television pioneer.

Posted by Eric @ 1:47pm, 01-23-04

What's Left?

  On the way home from work tonight, I took stock. What's left for me? Is there a future? Or am I going to be stuck in this nowhere town for the rest of my life?

  Yeah, I have a decent job, good friends, and a family that loves me. But there's one thing missing. I'm sure you all know what that is. It's the one thing I need to survive. Without it, I'm just another schmoe without much else to live for.

  No, this isn't going to turn into an online suicide note. Far from it, actually. That's one thing I won't do. Life's been way too strange so far, I can't help but want to stick around and see what happens next. But, there's still that void inside of me, the one I can't fill on my own...

  What do you do when you feel this alone in life? Me, I sit around and wonder if it'll ever change. I probably shouldn't, but when you're in the state I'm in, actually doing things becomes a distant goal that seems almost unreachable.

  I need to get away from Houtzdale. In fact, I need to get away from Central Pennsylvania. There's nothing here for me anymore. Sure, there's Tempered Edge, but other than that, there isn't much at all. Love has eluded me, either by hook or by crook. Friends have come and gone. I even feel distant from the family that raised me and called me their own.

  So what now? I don't know. All that I can do is wait and see, I suppose. Maybe I should follow that old addage and "Go West, Young Man." But then again, I don't feel so young anymore, either. I'm certainly not getting any younger, that's for sure...

Posted by Eric @ 12:03am, 01-23-04

Awake And Bored

  Well, whatever this wonderful sickness I have is still with me, but it's nowhere near as bad as it was. Hopefully soon I'll be over it and can continue with life as usual. On the good side, my voice is returning to normal, and my sinuses are calming down as well. Knock on wood...

  So what the heck am I doing awake at 8:30am on a Wednesday? I have no clue. I just kindof woke up is all. Normally, I'd be zonked out till early afternoon. And I just noticed that I'm not the only one awake at this crazy hour. Looks like Tiffany is up as well...

  So, the question remains. Do I go back to sleep? Do I stay awake and try to make the most of the day? I think I'm going to pick the former. Since I work evenings, I dont' really have to be part of the "9 to 5" rat race that seems to have my fellow Americans locked in. Besides, I was having a really interesting dream...

Posted by Eric @ 8:32am, 01-21-04

Down With The Sickness

  I hate being sick. It sucks ass. But what can you do? It's flu season, and me, I'm a stubborn old ox when it comes to taking those herbal suppliments my mom wants me to take. As far as I'm concerned, I'll just ride it out.

  It's days like this where I just want to be left alone to wallow in my sorrows for a while. I won't say way, but there are a few of you who read this blog with any regularity that know where I'm coming from.

  I need a vacation...

Posted by Eric @ 10:00am, 01-20-04

(A)Live, From Clearfield...

  This will be something of an odd update, since I'm not really using Dreamweaver at the moment, but Tripod's HTML Editor. So bear with me if things look a bit off-kilter...

  Anywho, I heard last night from Bre's neighbor that Tag, a DJ in our local area ([website here]), had died. Odd! And not only that, but it sucked to hear it, too, because Tag is a good friend of mine. But lo and behold, I find out today that it may not be the case. [erina] checked the obits for Monday and Tuesday, and no sign of Tag in them. Then the neighbor tells me today while I'm shoveling out Bre's car that she heard the same, that it might not have been Tag. If this is the case, then I know how he feels. I've been dead several times, according to people...

  Once, I was supposedly killed while getting mugged. Another time, I was shot in a drug deal gone bad. Both of those supposedly happened while I lived down in Pittsburgh. Well, obviously, I'm still around. But the most recent one is the one that takes the cake.

  The most recent one involves a kid named Aaron Jacobson (no relation, but you see where it's going already). This kid was always responsible for indirectly getting me into hot water with my folks because our names sound alike when read over a police radio. Well, this time around, he got drunk and had overdosed on something, passed out, and frozen to death in his pickup truck (at least that's the story I got). And wouldn't you know it, over the scanner, it sounded like Eric Jacobson had died of an overdose, and the rumors began to fly.

  First of all, my name is Eric, not Aaron. But, over a scanner, I can see where it would kind of slur together to sound like Eric. Second, I've never owned a pickup truck before in my life, and most of my friends know that, which makes me wonder why they'd think it was me anyway. Third, I don't drink to get drunk. Anyone who knows me knows I drink one night a week (maybe two if the band has a show), and when I do drink, I only have like 5 beers. And I've never touched hard drugs in my life, nor do I have any intention of doing so. So there's no way I could have overdosed.

  But here's the real kicker. There's a local bar in Glen Richie that I've been to twice in my entire life. Not enough to make an impression, that's for sure. But, in the local bargain rag, was a small memorial that read "Eric Jacobson, We'll Miss Your Smiling Face." They meant Aaron, but the people who publish the paper must have heard it wrong. So now, we have a published account of my apparent death. Joy of joys! This cause me to get several phone calls from friends, nervous to ask my parents if I was dead. How do you ask a parent if their kid is dead? I can understand how awkward that must have been...

  So, if these rumors are unfounded and Tag's still alive (which would be a VERY good thing), then I know what he's going through. It's not every day that you walk into a place and hear the words "Hey, you look pretty good for a dead man..." Thanks, Ricky, that made my day. LOL

Posted by Eric @ 2:52pm, 01-15-04

The King (And Princess) Has Returned

  Last night, I got the news I've been waiting for for weeks. Lord of the Rings: Return of the King, is finally coming to The Rowland. This is very excellent news. The greatest film of the new millennium is finally coming to our humble little theater. So now I'll get to see RotK on a rather large screen (multiplex screens are too small), with great sound, and it just so happens that I'll get to start that bad boy opening night...

  And it gets even better. We're having a private screening of it Saturday Night. How much does that rock? That rocks TONS!

  And just when you thought things couldn't get any better than that, here comes a return visit by Erin! This weekend is gonna destroy...

Posted by Eric @ 7:30am, 01-13-04

Said The Spider To The Fly

  The Web. A place I've been staking my claim in for over eight years now. Lately, business has picked up. There's always been the [dbz:ur] site, my biggest success to date. Then came the current version of the Ranch, the most popular in its existance. After that, I got involved in [fccfree.com], one of my first real clients in a long, long time.

  Now, there's Tempered Edge.com. Yep, we have our own dot com now. Good deal. A real site to work with.

  The coolest part about all this is now, after over four years of being out of [aip], I'm doing the most work in my field since my days there. And it feels great. It really does. To be working in my chosen field is a blessing. And it gets even better, since certain projects could lead to bigger and better things for yours truly.

  So here we go. It seems that Eric's moving into some good times in the game of life. Let's hope this lasts, and let's hope that it only gets better as the days go on...

Posted by Eric @ 12:10pm, 01-11-04

A Word From Erin: WOW.

  well i finally made it to meet eric, and he was more than i expected him to be. he was charming and mischevious. He was so kind always giving me compliments and always making me smile. well today after getting back from new york we went to his work and i got a tour of the entire theater. it was amazing. after work we came back to his house where we immediately went to the bedroom to jump on the computer. and of course as it normally does one thing led to another and before i knew it we were screwing. that in itself was outstanding i mean he knew exactly how to use that peirced tongue of his. all i know is i deffenitely didnt mind going all night. and soon hopefully ill get to experience that amazing event again.WOW!!!!!

Posted by Erin @ 4:10am, 01-09-04

Rancho Relaxo Breaks 10K!

  Wow! Yeah, it took over six years, seven designs, and a whole bunch of BS from both Geocities and Tripod, but Rancho Relaxo has finally surpassed 10,000 hits! Honestly, I never thought this day would come.

  Of course, this is nothing like the hits I get over at my [dbz:ur site] , which has well over 100,000 hits. But hey, one can't complain in either situation. It's more than I ever expected!

  I can't wait until tomorrow. I'm finally going to pick Erin up. She'll be coming down here to the Ranch's home base to spend two weeks with me. I'm really looking forward to it. She's a very sweet and extremely pretty girl, and things have been going great for us. Hopefully, the weather will allow me to have my moment in the sun (ironic, since it's currently snowing).

  And finally, within the next few days, expect the DNS to propogate and Tempered Edge dot com to be born! I'll be moving the site away from Tripod and over to professional hosting, finally! Now all I need to do is get some hosting for the Ranch and all of its subsites and I'll be all set...

Posted by Eric @ 8:45pm, 01-06-04

Pretty Pretty Girl...

  Just because I can, and because I know she's reading this...

I LOVE YOU ERIN!!!

Posted by Eric @ 3:47am, 01-04-04

Ham On The Run

  First of all, gotta wish everybody a Happy New Year, hope everybody partied (safely, I might add) real good and had a great time of it. I know I sure did...

  Hamsters. Bane of my existance. Not really, but sometimes, they're an endless source of trouble for me. Case in point, my own little Mary Jane. Up until Smokie died, she was the quiet one, never trying to escape or cause trouble. After Smokie died, however, she took over where he left off.

  She made her New Years resolution, and I think it was to get out of her cage. When I came home today, I found her cage empty. She'd busted loose. And thus, the hunt began. There aren't that many places in my room she can go and hide in. Mostly under the bed, under the dresser or in the closet. Well, I found her in the closet. Ha ha ha ha.

  Getting her out was a small chore. She'd found a spot where the heating pipes go through the wall between my room and the closet, and I had to pull off a bit of plaster and coax her out. But out she came, and back in her cage she went after a small lettuce and cheese feast. That'll be the last time I leave her unsupervised, that's for sure..

Posted by Eric @ 3:29pm, 01-02-04